


Love You a Latte

by ceilingfan5



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Coffeeshop AU, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Reunion, Family Vacation, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, Gift Exchange, Holding Hands, Shopping, Summer, awful family, beach, bed sharing, fake dating au, some homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 09:35:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11711676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceilingfan5/pseuds/ceilingfan5
Summary: Allison's favorite barista is adorable Renee, so when she gets the news that she has to go on a terrible family vacation and bring an "appropriate plus-one", she decides to finally get herself uninvited from the rest of those events for all eternity. She and Renee go together, pretending to be a very much in love couple, stir shit up, and leave a lot closer than they ever expected. (Obviously they fall in love.) Allison may say "I decided love was fake a long time ago and it’d take a miracle to change my mind now,” but if anyone can be a miracle worker, it's Renee.





	Love You a Latte

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written since March, so it all kind of exploded out at once! I hope the length is a blessing and not a challenge. This is for Aron (http://ghrisas.tumblr.com/) for the TFC summer exchange. I hope you like it! 
> 
> Please leave a comment if you enjoy this and let me know! It means a lot to hear what people think, especially for projects this unexpectedly large!

The Common Ground coffee shop was Allison’s go-to stop for pre-class caffeination. It was just kitschy and aesthetic enough to beat out the new Starbucks in town for blog photos and self-righteousness; the couches were comfier; the coffee, served in actual ceramic coffee mugs if you were staying, was marginally better if not roughly equal; the location, though not as close to campus as she would have liked, had non-parallel parking; but subtly the most important of all, it had one hell of a gorgeous barista. 

Not that Allison always went there at the same time to see her, or anything. 

She was adorable. May have been in some of Allison’s classes, but she never paid attention to that sort of thing, and this may have been the one case in which she regretted that aloofness. She was always in a pleasant mood, and not the fake sort with the plastered on customer service smile. She honestly seemed happy to see her at ass-o-clock in the morning, and happy to take her order, and happy to chat with her while the new trainee brewed Allison’s complicated soy- toffee mocha-sugar free-order. It was embarrassing, really. She never ‘chatted’ with other service professionals in her life. The idea of striking up a conversation with the checkout person at Target or a waiter at a restaurant was appalling to her, but somehow this slipped under her radar. Maybe it was the genuine-ness of it

Maybe it was the way this pastel-haired minimum wage nobody’s smiling eyes appeared in her cheesiest dreams, sometimes. And maybe it was just a total slip of judgement, caught off-guard by the one shred of faux-legitimacy she ever encountered before her senses kicked in by about eleven am. But it was during one of these near-conversations that she got the news. The worst possible news.

“Fwd: Hello, all!! You’re invited to the Reynolds family reunion of the century on the family island off of the Bahamas!!!!! Enjoy the vacation of your lifetime and the celebration of Anne and Frank’s 25th anniversary!!!!!!! Bring your family or an appropriate plus-one. We can’t wait to see you there!!!!!!!!”

And immediately after:

“Allison, you need to appear at this function and you need to make nice with your relatives. Your recent behavior has been completely inappropriate and if it continues, your mother and I may be forced to cut you off. I expect you to undo some of the damage your reputation has done to this family and restore your and our name in the process. I’ve emailed the details and I expect your answer by tomorrow night. We will take care of your classes.”

Disgusting. Truly, disgusting. As if they hadn’t gotten the message already that she wanted nothing to do with them. To her parents, her situation still hung in the balance, as if she hadn’t already snipped the ties herself. She could take care of herself financially, and in every other manner too. Take care of her classes? What was she, a middle-schooler? 

They had no right- no authority-

“Something wrong?” Renee, which Allison only knew was her name because of her nametag and not because she’d internalized it immediately upon their first meeting and carved those letters into her heart, gave her a painfully genuine smile with her coffee. She was just the worst. Nosy busybody. Allison’s heart swelled. 

“Nothing. It’s stupid.”

Even if she did give a shit about her parents and her extended family and their extended opinions, why would she go to the party? She had no interest in ‘making nice’ or keeping up appearances. She’d gotten tired of that in high school and there was no going back now. The fact that they were still trying to reach out to her was telling of their complete obliviousness. In fact, the only reason she could think of to even respond to the message, minus telling them to go fuck themselves, was the possibility of an elaborate charade ending as blatantly as possible in getting her message across: she wanted nothing to do with them and didn’t need their help, money, or approval. Something that embarrassing was just fantasy, a satisfying daydream to imagine while she deleted the text and got on with her life. 

Except she did so love an elaborate fuck-you, and they did so deserve it.

What were they thinking anyway?? If she did go to the party…An appropriate plus-one? They surely didn’t mean that. She could think of half a dozen people that would be there with plus-ones that weren’t their respective spouses, and she was getting grilled on appropriate? What did that even mean?

“Well, I hope it gets better for you. You don’t seem the type that weathers stupidity well.” Her sunshiney smile was almost painful to look at. Allison chewed on the awful text as she spooned all of the whipped cream off of her coffee and directly into her mouth. This was not a fucking around kind of morning. 

No, appropriate was code, knowing her bullshit judgmental WASP family. White, rich, straight white man. And rich, and white. Most especially rich. 

Her eyes locked on her favorite barista.

“Why the long face?” Renee said, in a perfect imitation of a Western movie bartender. Ignoring other customers for her. Perfect, perfect minimum wage service industry nobody. Not straight, judging by the pastel rainbow in her bleached hair and the way she smiled at Allison when she wore tennis skirts. Not a man. Not white. Certainly not rich, unless she had some really strange hobbies. Allison carefully licked the last of the whipped cream off her spoon and made a split-second decision. 

“Are you free next weekend for an elaborate, all-expenses-paid charade on an island in the Bahamas?”

Renee chewed on that for a minute, as if it was a completely normal proposition and not something a serial killer might say. Maybe it helped that Allison could quite clearly pay for a vacation in the Bahamas, or maybe it was the fact that Renee could probably easily take Allison in a fight, or maybe she was completely nuts and lacked any and all survival skills. But it worked. 

“Well, I’ve always wanted to see the ocean.”

Oh. Oh dear. Appropriate indeed. 

She snagged Renee’s contact information and hurried off to class before she could be weirder about it, but she sent Renee the original invitation and the game plan, one more opportunity for her to back out before things got too serious. But it was going to be perfect. They would pretend to be dating, they would embarrass her parents, start shit, have a fantastic vacation at someone else’s expense, and finally drive home the point to the Reynolds clan where Allison’s allegiances lay, namely with herself and no one else. Not to mention a chance to wear at least three brand new swim suits, which she’d been aching to do since classes started in the fall. It was so easy to prepare, since her parents were so desperate for this supposed last chance. When she confirmed that she would be arriving with her “appropriate” “date”, everything fell into place: airplane tickets, hotel reservations, the whole guest list highlighted for the most important people to ‘impress’.

And to her credit, Renee jumped in with both feet. Once Allison explained the situation, Renee was on board completely. She not only agreed to actually come, she contributed to their mischievous plan with the kind of ease that made Allison wonder just how often she pretended to date people to fuck with their parents. For a goody-two-shoes cross-necklace wearing girl, she was surprisingly good at this.

“Oh, no, we’ll need a backstory. Where we met, how long we’ve been dating, that sort of thing. You want it to seem legitimate, right?”

“Oh, yes. I want to really test their ‘tolerance’. You know they organize fundraisers for these things, right? Like, all the time? But we’ll show up-”

“Holding hands?”

“Ohh, and you’ll just see it on their faces.”

“I think we should have a cat.”

“Why stop at one?”

“I’m thinking of a Spring wedding...”

It was honestly amazing to see her out of context like this, like seeing a police officer in street clothes or a stripper at a grocery store. Maybe the apron suited her, but she was actually kind of adorable in her weird, thrift-store chic wardrobe with too many layers and textures and not enough jewelry. She was a brilliant, terrible mastermind, completely in her element, and it was, strangely enough, wicked sexy. But that would only add to the plot. 

“So we show up, like, in your faces!! Take this! And we, I don’t know, we could make out in the hotel fountain or something.”

Renee laughed, a soft, delicate thing that felt as warm as cocoa in the library study room they’d camped out in. 

“As inviting as that sounds, I think we might get more traction by being a little more...subtle?”

Allison scowled. 

“Straight people have no concept of subtlety.”

“Well, you’re not wrong, but I mean, hmm… More like...we turn that oblivion on them. We need to be as polite and pleasant as possible. Kill them with kindness, so to speak.”

“I’m really feeling the fountain plan right now, but I’m willing to give yours a shot, I suppose.”

Renee laughed again, and Allison lost all ability to care about studying for the rest of the afternoon. 

 

 

It was starting to feel real when she picked Renee up in her convertible on the day of their flight. Pre-charade jitters had kept her up late, not that she was worried or anything. It wasn’t as if her family would get violent, and she was trying to get kicked out. She had nothing to lose. Maybe she would scare Renee off, but the whole thing was just a sham. An act. It was a fun, weird way to spend a weekend, not a real date, and even though it had been an embarrassingly long time since she’d been on one, she was one hundred percent completely fine going on a fake one. A very long, intimate fake one, with the very attractive barista that she lived surprisingly close to. 

Who was wearing a much less horrifying outfit when Allison pulled up to her curb. A skirt, still a bit long for Allison’s taste, showed off tanned and strong legs, and her sweater was devoid of kittens or bootleg cartoon characters, instead showing just the collar of an attractive floral blouse that Allison could have picked herself. 

“I didn’t know you owned attractive clothes,” she said, trying to be cooler than the jumpy, rabid thing burning a hole her chest. Renee grinned that mischievous grin right back at her. 

“I didn’t know you stole Barbie’s car,” Renee, surprising Allison. So maybe she had more settings than ‘demure’ and ‘customer service’ under her belt. Barista Renee was starting to become a fully realized person, whether Allison wanted her to be or not. 

They drove to the airport with the top down, and with no small satisfaction Allison listened to Renee shriek with delight and admit she’d never ridden in a convertible before. She almost felt like a philanthropist, or a fairy godmother; for one weekend, this poor, beautiful wretch would know what it felt like to be rich. And on Monday, when she went back to being a lowly barista, she’d have a deeper appreciation for life. And Allison. Just saying. Sometimes that was the greatest part about being rich. When you got tired of spoiling yourself, you could spoil other people and watch their little hearts explode. It had been a while since she’d bothered to reach out like this, and all of her retail therapy senses were alive and tingling. Almost, but not quite, covering the slight tinges of anxiety mixing with straight caffeine and sugar in her stomach. 

“Do you mind doing this? You’re religious, right?” Hell, she was babbling. Half the point of having the top down was not having to talk, but a traffic light stopped them in their hot pink tracks and some squirmy thing inside her demanded to fill the silence. 

“I don’t see what religion has to do with it.”

“I mean, aren’t two of the bigtime rules not to lie or steal?” She didn’t want to grill the woman on her bible studies, but she could think of three different sculptures of the commandments alone in her hometown and the discrepancy was strangely grinding. Renee was starting to seem like a lot of things, but hypocrite was not one of them.

“Well, yes. Although I don’t believe I’m stealing anything. You offered me the opportunity, and I accepted it. We had a deal. Your family did offer a plus-one, and although I may not fit their expectations, I am assuredly appropriate for the social setting you’ve described to me.”

Sure. Alright. 

“And the lying?”

“I suppose that isn’t completely kosher,” she said, smiling to herself. “But all will be revealed in the end, and no one will be hurt by it.”

“Sorry, like, isn’t the whole point of religion to follow the rules? Like- that’s the whole big thing about gay people and whatever? That it’s against those stupid rules some jackass said he made for god like a million years ago?”

“That is...one way of putting it. And some people do see the ‘rules’ as the whole point of religion, yes. Some people get very much caught up in following these perceived rules, like you said. In fact, the one you mentioned comes from this section, actually it’s really fascinating, which has been grossly mistranslated-”

Allison coughed pointedly, and Renee cleared her throat and skipped over the Sunday school lesson. 

“Anyway, while some of those ‘rules’ are good words to live by, many of them are no longer relevant, or completely misinterpreted. Many people fit the word to suit themselves, rather than using it as a guide for moral structure. I know you aren’t religious, but I am. Not because I like to follow rules, but because I believe that those ideas give us something to really live by. More than anything else-”

The light finally, finally turned green and Allison stepped on the gas, the roaring of her engine a satisfying relief against the preaching she was getting. 

“...What I mean to say, is that, above all else, the ‘point’ of religion is to love one another and to care for our neighbor as ourselves. People like your family that give these loose justifications for their intolerance deplore the word of God and, to be honest, make the world a shittier place.”

The lecture rolled around Allison’s head like espresso on an empty stomach and she was relieved when the ugly outline of the airport finally ruined the horizon. 

“So, to answer your question,” Renee summed up with a self-conscious smile, “A little bit of an act doesn’t bother me. Both morally and because I have no reason to feel guilty for a fantastic vacation for helping out a friend. I have no doubt in my mind that God loves me not despite who I love, but because everything that I am is worthy of loving. And I think that spreading that love and care for others would certainly outrank fake tolerance with no weight behind it. ”

Love. Guilt. A friend. That was a lot to unpack.

Right. Whatever. No regrets, is what that translated to. Everything was a go, and miss cross necklace wasn’t about to back out because of a couple of lies. And it wasn’t like Allison gave a fuck about religion, or being bisexual, or what her family thought of her “lifestyle”. The opinion of God meant nothing to her. She didn’t need to be accepted--she was good enough for herself, and that’s what mattered, which was the whole point of this exercise. 

But Renee’s explanation didn’t feel half bad, and neither did her roundabout approval. 

 

 

They arrived at the fancy hotel a little jetlagged and a lot anxious and checked into their hotel room with the anticipation one feels going into a low budget horror movie. The concierge eyed them over and confirmed their party with the kind of hesitation that revealed that much of the rest of the clan was already terrorizing the hotel’s country club, and brought up their reservation on the computer.

“I am so sorry, Ms. Reynolds. It seems there has been an error with your room.” 

Allison puffed up her chest, gave Renee a full watch-this look, and leaned, predator-smooth, on the hotel counter. 

“What is the issue? I had faith that this hotel was as luxurious as it claims to be. My family have been paid members for a very long time.”

“Yes, I see that, and I so very deeply apologize. It seems that you and your friend here have been placed in a room with only one king sized bed.”

Allison took a second to let that sink in as the concierge began the full procedure of rich-customer groveling. 

“Almost all of the hotel rooms are booked, especially for your family’s event, but we could move some rooms around and provide you with a connecting suite, or a different room, or-”

To the surprise of both of them, Renee took charge. Maybe it was some deeply ingrained service-personnel empathy or complete commitment for the bit, but she dove right in. She squeezed Allison’s hand and leaned her head on her shoulder and smiled as endearingly as physically possible. 

“Oh, no, no, don’t worry. That sounds just perfect, doesn’t it, honey?” 

It took Allison a second to catch up. She had expected to jump into the role at the first event on the disgustingly long itinerary, or at least get past the door, but it was certainly admirable what confidence Renee had for the part. She narrowly avoided awkwardly clearing her throat and squeezed Renee’s hand right back. 

“It certainly is, as long as it meets our other specifications.”

“Ah- yes- of course-” The concierge stammered, catching up as fast as humanly possible to the demands of his high-paying client. “The view should be excellent and it is near, but not in, the wing with the rest of your family. The mini bar is set up and there is beach access from the staircase next to the room.”

“Then we’ll take it.” She slid over her shiniest credit card and her ID, and before anyone could say cheesecake factory, they had their key cards and were on their way up the glass elevator. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Allison said, watching Renee people-watch from the streaky glass overlooking the lobby. “It is his job to take care of our needs.”

“I just didn’t think it was an issue,” she said as calmly as could be. “It’ll be a good home base for us, and another room would look suspicious. Besides, I’m sure he has enough on his plate.”

Allison didn’t say another word.

The suite was enormous, according to Renee, and much in line with the other hotel suites Allison had in her repertoire, although it was rather obvious that her mother’s parents were pulling out the stops for this engagement party. They raided the mini bar; snacks, for Renee, and fancy samples of booze that didn’t taste like the nail polish remover swill that usually stared at the parties she ended up at, for Allison.They laid side by side on their bed, singular, which was strange and unnecessary and yet nothing Allison wanted to complain about any time soon, and they clarified their plan for the Reynolds-brand itinerary. 

That evening was a huge meet-and-greet on the rented out boardwalk, the next day involved a huge party on the biggest yacht, a bunch of terrible, embarrassing activities that Allison had all intention of skipping for shopping, and then a fancy dinner with some celebrity chef in the hotel ballroom, followed by dancing and then, more than likely, embarrassing, drunk announcements, like marriage or business proposals, breakups, running for senate again, or god knew what else. The Reynolds were nothing if not rich and messy, and any reunion always ended in disaster. Allison fondly remembered the last one she had skipped, when she had had a lovely spa retreat all by herself and then bought a condo in Seattle. The one before that she had taken her ex-boyfriend to, and both of them got shitfaced and played adultery bingo, in which the only way to win is not to play, as she had found out on the way back home; thus, ex. She had still won the pot from their bet and used it to send him home on a separate plane and detail her car. 

There was no way this wasn’t going to be a hell of a time. Soap opera worthy, or maybe worse. Only time would tell. More importantly, this was their chance to visit the beach.

Allison wore the first of multiple personally designed bikinis, a tight little avant-garde number in bright colors that drew the eye to all of her best assets. 

And Renee wore a plain one-piece. 

“Did you get that from a catalogue?” Allison peered over the rims of her heart-shaped sunglasses, perfectly shaping her face with the help of a gorgeous sunhat. 

“Maybe,” Renee said, shrugging under a horrendous Costco beach towel cape. “Does it matter?”

“Um, yes? You have so much to work with here! You’re wasting a hell of an opportunity!” And it was true, too. The little ruffles did nothing for her hips, making her look childish, and the plain dark blue made it almost completely shapeless when there was definitely shape to be had. But even with the unflattering wetsuit, it was clear that she was an athlete. Her toned arms and legs glowed with tan and strength and her chest, although obscured, did cut a decent shape given what it had to work with. She was.... Well, she was very attractive. It was an objective fact, even under a pink and orange towel from a bulk foods store. 

And to make matters worse, she just laughed off Allison’s assessment and ran into the water, completely delighted with the warm waves and in no way afraid of getting sand all over her. 

“What are you doing just sitting there? Come play with me!”

Allison wrinkled her nose. 

“I’m sunbathing. I’m not playing.”

“Don’t be a spoilsport! This water is amazing--I’ve never seen anything so blue!” Her smile was electric, and Allison felt the current all the way on dry land. But no one was watching. She didn’t have to play. 

“I have to look hotter than the rest of South-South Carolina, Renee. I don’t have time for child games.” 

“You already have that covered!” Renee shouted, and before Allison could react to that, Renee splashed her with all of her might, the sand dragging away her sunglasses and all of her composure.

“Oh, you’re on!” 

 

 

A few hours and showers later, most of the sand removed from intimate places, and they were off to the meet and greet in terribly good moods. It was dangerous, knowing what awaited them, but happiness was good armor, and it was easier to act happy in a good mood. With Allison armored in a rainbow crop top and high-waisted skirt and Renee in a tastefully adorable sundress, they broached the first battle of the weekend war. 

And they met one of the hardest targets first.

It was immediately apparent that Allison’s mother was making a beeline for her the second they stepped on the boardwalk. She was as tall and blonde and dangerous as Allison, and even in a sea of relatives, she was impossible not to spot. Within seconds it also became clear that she was angry, and a long-buried pang of nervousness squirmed in Allison’s gut. She squashed it down and took Renee’s hand in hers, portraying the air of cool aloofness that she’d inherited and perfected with ice cold grace. To her credit, Renee seemed to sense the risk and Allison watched her harden defensively while leaving her outside aura marshmallow soft and sweet. It was actually rather impressive, and something a boring little church girl shouldn’t have had in her arsenal. But this was no time to probe that potential vein of secrets. 

“Allison Jamaica Reynolds,” the cold woman started, and then, seemingly seeing Renee for the very first time, pasted on a smile that Allison knew from experience had sharp edges. “Who is your friend?”

“Girlfriend, actually,” Renee said with terrifying confidence, and stuck out her hand without blinking. “I’m Renee. Nice to meet you, ma’am.” And she smiled. It wasn’t like her smile at the coffee shop, or maybe not the one she gave Allison. This one was barbed to the core, but threateningly pleasant. The ties and differences between Renee’s and her mother’s demeanor were……...a little nerve wracking. They were so similar and yet there was something so fundamentally different about Renee’s danger that Allison couldn’t put her finger on. The fact that it was on her side, protecting her, seemed to be part of it, although she didn’t know why she was thinking of Renee that way when this was all a big joke.

“Oh,” Allison’s mom said, with thousands of pounds of force packed into the one syllable. She made eye contact with Allison. “Nice to meet you too.” 

Allison almost expected Renee to curtsy, but she was also imagining her mother dislocating her jaw and swallowing Renee whole, too. But neither seemed quite right. Perhaps the most strangely, Renee was holding her own in this contest of wills, not dissolving on the spot like Allison might have bet a few weeks ago. 

Interesting. 

“Why have I never heard about you, Renee? Would I know your parents?”

Something in Renee’s eyes found that quietly amusing, but she kept up the good work. 

“Oh, I don’t think so. I’m adopted.”

“Is that so. Well, we certainly do support...adoption. Where are you from?” 

“South Carolina,” Renee said, leaning against Allison with amazing ease. “We go to the same college.” Allison caught their reflection in the nearest tourist shop window and was quietly satisfied to see that they made a picture-perfect pair. They could sell perfume in a heartbeat, if they didn’t want to dissolve the partnership after the vacation.

“Oh, I mean, where are you from?” Yikes. But Renee pretended not to understand what that was supposed to mean with the practiced grace of someone who got that line too often. 

“I was born in Detroit.”

“Ah,” Allison’s mom said. Allison could just see her tamping down on the no, but where are you REALLY from in her mind. Jesus. And they hadn’t even been there a minute. “So you two really are………………………………..dating, then?” 

Christ.

“We are,” Allison said, finally stepping up to the plate. “Isn’t she a scream? I’ve been so busy recently I haven’t even had the chance to tell you.”

The last time she intentionally texted her mother was her senior year of high school. But that discrepancy went unnoticed. 

“Well, she is...adorable. Are you two... happy together?” Every ellipsis was another bullet in her mother’s revolver, but sweet little iron-spined Renee took each one without flinching. 

“Oh, yes. We’ve been having so much fun.” Renee smiled innocently and said, with a straight face, “I suppose things are getting serious if I’m meeting her family. I couldn’t be more honored.” 

Allison’s mother’s Stepford wife smile faltered and she chewed her mauve lip. 

“I see. Well, be sure to….” The cogs were so clearly turning. This was no longer a socializing activity. Damage control had to be done. She had asked for her to speak to as many people as possible and now this. No one could know. How many had already seen?

“Yes, I can’t wait to meet everybody! My family is so small. I’m excited that I might have such an enormous extended family!”

Allison’s mother turned ghostly white and Renee put the final nail in the coffin. 

“This is shaping up to be such a good month! I was just voted Roastess With the Mostest at work.”

“.........Work?”

Allison could almost hear “please be a law firm” on the breeze. 

“Oh, I’m a barista at the cutest little coffee shop. That’s where we met, actually. Isn’t life so strange sometimes? What a blessing.”

Renee’s mother muttered something about more wine and disappeared like a bad Powerpoint transition. 

Allison grinned and leaned in close to whisper in Renee’s ear, and Renee’s body language so elegantly folded in like they’d known each other intimately for years. Fuck, was she a professional actress? 

“Laying it on a little thick, are you?”

Her ears weren’t pierced. Allison had a terrible urge to bite one. This whole charade was going to her head. 

“But dearest,” Renee trilled sarcastically, “Aren’t you going to propose soon?”

“Actually….” That wasn’t a bad idea. Was there a ring shop in town? It was a small island but it had been almost completely developed on the skeleton of what had once been an actual society for real human beings. Given the tourism in the area, there had to be something for idiots who lost their jewels in the sea and fools who got swept away by romance and landed in the marriage zone. Wouldn’t that just be the cherry on top? Everyone would see it. It would cement her status completely, and no one would bother contacting her after this. Everything was falling into place. It all made sense. 

And it was so easy to get lost in the role. They strolled around the boardwalk, holding hands, trying expensive cheeses and drinking cocktails, virgin for Renee, and laying it on as blatantly as they could to everyone they met. Allison kept a running commentary on who was who, spying a senator and his not-spouse, a ceo and his inappropriate plus-one, two thirty under thirties….

And by the time the sun set and they found her grandparents, Allison was well and truly tipsy. The whole situation was so funny. No one knew. No one knew except them? Talk about dramatic irony. And to make things even funnier, the whole thing was to celebrate the anniversary of her grandparents, whom they caught arguing outside a boathouse. 

“I don’t know what intentions you had with that little slut, but if you think for one second-”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to look at other women if you ever gave me the time of day!”

“You were doing a lot more than looking!”

“Graaandmaaaaa!” Allison called, interrupting the two of them as if she hadn’t heard a word of the exchange. “And Grandpa! I’m so happyyy to be here! Hey, come, come meet Renee!”

She tugged a surprised Renee into the dim light of the nearest kitchy shop and smiled her winningest smile. 

“This…... is my girlfriend. In the dating sense. We are dating.”

The stunned silence was worth every penny. 

“This-”

“You’re dating a-”

Allison’s grandmother interrupted a certainly racist interjection with a homophobic one. 

“Girl???”

“Woman, actually, but yep. I sure am. Say hi, Renee.”

“Hello,” Renee said, slipping right back into her marshmallow danger smile. Allison actually kind of loved her in that moment. “Your granddaughter is wonderful. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Are you two sleeping together?”

Renee blushed, but Allison grinned wide. 

“We so, so are. In the biblical sense. Right, Rey? Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about those stocks you were saving for me?”

The two of them looked at one another, appalled, and back at Renee. Staring, as if somehow she would turn white or male if they looked at her hard enough. 

“We will. Have to discuss those. Later.”

“No granddaughter of mine-”

“Are you staying here the whole weekend?”

“Oh, yes. We’re so happy you invited us.” She slipped an arm around Renee’s waist, giving her sundress skirt a wavy ripple. It looked so deliciously intimate. “We reeeaaaally needed a chance to get aaway.” 

“I’ve never been to the beach before,” Renee confided, excited. “It’s beautiful. We never had money for trips when I was growing up.”

That, just like before, was the last strike. 

“We will speak with you later. We need to go see...” 

“Your cousin.”

“Yes, he’s. Training... to be a page at the statehouse this summer, very exciting, see you tomorrow.” 

They hurried off. 

Renee put a hand on Allison’s back, helping her stand up a little straighter. 

“I sort of assumed there would be a little more yelling, to be honest.”

“Oh no, most of them are the passive aggressive type. Lots of will-rewriting is going to happen tonight. They’ll be awkward until the end of the weekend, and then I won’t be invited to anymore of these stupid things. And then I’ll finally be ostrichsized.”

Renee didn’t correct her pronunciation, instead opting for something that almost sounded like concern.

“And that’s what you want?”

“Oh, god yes, did you see the look on his face? Or hers? They’re all awful. When you were in the bathroom, one of my aunts pinched my stomach and said I was brave to wear a crop top.” 

Renee looked incredulously at Allison’s stomach. 

“What did she even pinch? Your abs are more defined than mine.” And to illustrate her point, she laid a hand on Allison’s stomach, warm and soft, but also calloused. Allison knew from rumor and eavesdropping she was on one of Palmetto’s other sport teams, but it was becoming clearer that she took that athleticism very seriously, and not because of the aesthetic of wearing size two short shorts. 

Although Allison would pay money to see them on her. And lipgloss on her cute, round lips. 

She had a list, actually. To...better sell the ruse. 

“Shall we retire, to our shared bedroom, oh scandalous bed partner?” 

“I believe we ought to, before you break an ankle in those shoes.”

Allison threw her head back and laughed. The whole situation was making her feel melodramatic, and it was good to let some of it out.

“I can do six inch heels blackout drunk. I could walk a tightrope.” 

“Don’t they hurt?” 

“Look,” Allison said, squaring Renee up. “Beauty is pain. Nothing worth fighting for is easy.”

Renee turned that one over briefly. 

“You’re not wrong. Although I’ll be honest….” she started to say one thing, stopped herself, and said, instead, “I don’t see what is worth fighting for about stilettos.”

“Look at my ass and say that again,” Allison said, and did her best catwalk prowl back off the boardwalk, fully aware of Renee’s eyes on her. 

 

 

Sharing a bed with another human being for the first time in months was oddly unobtrusive. Renee was a polite bedfellow, although a bit of a blanket hog, and they didn’t bump into one another too much as they fell asleep. Allison only woke once in the night, the sound of waves ruining her routine, and the next time she woke up, she was more comfortable than she could ever remember being. This was the whole point of vacations. Silk sheets, the smell of fresh flowers and the ocean, but only the nice part and not the rotting fish part, soft pillows, warm, cozy comfort, spooning a beautiful woman-

Which was. Not supposed to be on the list, whether or not it was a welcome addition. She pulled back, startling herself properly awake against the heavy cotton feeling of her previous night’s indulgences, and felt the instant regret of losing a comfortable spot. Her sleepy body ached to resume the snuggle, her head heavy and the warmth inviting, but this was not on the list. No one was here to watch this. As cute as Renee was, they weren’t actually dating, and neither of them had plans to keep up the charade once the weekend was over. They were using each other, a deal was a deal, and...god, she was so comfortable to lay with for an athlete. Her last lover had been all hard edges, like sleeping with one of Michelangelo’s statues that smelled like weed, but even with her adorable muscle, Renee’s shape was inviting and seamlessly pleasant. 

The stupid bed was going to ruin everything. God damn that incompetent concierge. 

She forced herself out of bed, even though one of the best things about a vacation was sleeping in, and showered, luxuriating in spite and the designer bath products she’d explicitly requested in advance from the hotel. It was hard to find those stores in South Carolina, and she was going to soak up every bit of creamy fragrance she wouldn’t have to sweat off while she had the chance. And she was going to need the armor to go into battle at brunch. 

 

 

Brunch was more awkward than any sane human being could have predicted. They entered late, fashionably and because it had been the kind of day when Allison just couldn’t get her liquid eyeliner to match, and the whole room rippled with whispers as they sat down for the first course. 

Allison smirked at Renee, who looked a little lost between all of the different silverware and glass options. 

“See? I’m officially the gay cousin. Just look at them.” One of her aunts physically turned a twelve year old to look away from her and shot her a dirty look. Allison blew a kiss right back at her. 

“I thought you were bisexual. Um, is...all of this necessary?”

“I mean, obviously, but it doesn’t matter as long as I never get another invite to one of these things.” She picked up the grapes on her plate and held them, Greek goddess-like, above her glittering lips to eat straight from the stem. “Just wait until dinner. They’re going to be showing off for that Food Network guy.”

“Right...”

Renee poked at her grapefruit. 

“It’s sort of sad,” she said, at last, since no one else at the table would make eye contact with her, let alone conversation. “Your grandparents have been together so long and they don’t even seem to like each other.”

“Oh no, they hate each other’s guts.” Allison served them both a slice of quiche and drew a sad face in dark brown sauce on Renee’s. “Always have. You should hear my mom talk about Christmases at their place.” 

“Then why are they married? It’s such a shame. That’s not love.”

“I could name any reason including tax benefits and the illusion of perfection, but I’m pretty sure the truth is that there is no such thing as love and it’s easier to stay with someone you know you hate than hope to find someone you don’t out in the wild.”

Renee stared at her blankly.

“What, did you want the syrup?”

“No, I-” Renee shook her head slightly. “You don’t believe in love, Allison?” 

Maybe she did just a little. If it kept Renee saying her name. 

“No, it’s a total sham. Love songs and all that are just money grabs or delusions. I mean, sure, sex is pretty nice, and maybe hormones trick you and the person you laid to stay together and make babies or whatever, but the whole goofy Hallmark channel idea of love is complete bologna.”

“Forgive me for not believing you’ve ever seen or touched bologna in your life, but that’s just not true. Maybe your grandparents haven’t found love, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed not to.”

“And parents. Oh, and...” She squinted around the table. “Shit, we could play bingo. Them, her, her, her, him, them, and his brother.”

Renee gave Allison another unreadable look. 

“He doesn’t get his ass out of bed for brunch, but believe me, there’s no love in his future.”

Renee poked at the remnants of her quiche, frowning. 

“I thought you wanted to be different from your family.”

“I’m rebellious, not optimistic.” Allison shrugged. “I decided love was fake a long time ago and it’d take a miracle to change my mind now.”

 

 

After a somber brunch, Allison snuck them away from the cheesier family activities, such as regulation bragging, aggressive one-upping, day drinking, and horseshoes, to visit the burgeoning shopping district that had recently been islanders’ homes. Renee protested the first time Allison whipped out her card to buy her something, but as she piled more outfits and swimsuits into Renee’s arms to try, protesting no longer seemed possible. 

“God, you look so good in that.”

“Are you sure?” Renee spun around, watching her skirt twirl in the mirror. Her hair feathered out too, and the fluorescent lights gave her a pastel rainbow halo when she moved. “It’s sort of revealing.”

“It covers all your important parts, right? Besides, you have an excellent body. You ought to show it off once in awhile.” Allison crossed her almost fully exposed legs to show her point. They were tanning just perfectly, and she couldn’t wait to go back to school and show off while the weather was still good enough for short shorts. 

“I really do like the color...But how much is it?” She turned to Allison, skirt flaring again, and Allison’s heart sang. She could be a model. Such an excellent model. Allison had a Nikon waiting in her closet just begging to be used…

“Zero dollars.” 

“Allison, you have to let me pay for something. This dress is so...much. It can’t be cheap.” 

“One, you do cheap like, 98% of the time, and as much as it suits you, you deserve an upgrade, and two, I’m repaying you for the huge favor you’re doing me, obviously, so can it and try on that other swimsuit.”

Renee chewed her lip.

“Come on. Let me spoil you. What use is money if you don’t use it?”

“Well. Alright. But I want to pick the next store we go into.” Mastermind Renee dragged them into a bookstore for a new planner, which Allison insisted be cute, and then they picked out necklaces for one another, made up for brunch with proper local cuisine, took selfies with gorgeous backgrounds, and enjoyed one another’s company more than Allison had ever expected possible. 

Sun-warmed, happy, and armed with new clothes, jewelry, shoes, books, and treats, they returned just in time to get ready for the final leg of their greatest trial: dinner with the whole family. They zipped each other up in their brand new event gowns, complementing one another in glittering black and perfect pink. 

“Are you ready for this?” Renee whispered, watching the elevator lights with a slightly nauseous expression. 

“Absolutely,” Allison said, puffing up her chest with a bit of fake confidence. “We look totally hot, we’re great together, and we’re going to embarrass the hell out of them. Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Renee said, taking Allison’s hand as the elevator doors opened and keeping it even when it revealed no one inside. Allison couldn’t bring herself to mind. It was starting to become familiar and almost comforting, even if it made her palms kind of sweaty. Who was she to refuse Renee a bit of comfort if it helped her through this ridiculous ruse? 

 

 

No one could have expected just how ridiculous dinner would be. Champagne flowed a little too freely, and the celebrity chef served course after course of weirdly garnished or flaming or strangely constructed dishes. The fish came with a sorbet, the salads were stacked almost ten inches high, and no one could quite tell what the main course was made out of, only that it definitely did have jam in the middle. But the Reynolds were a family of pretenders and illusionists and nearly every guest convinced their neighbor, if not themselves, that they were having a good time. But during the pre- second act- 8th course break, when the lights went on and the laser show was temporarily disabled, it became clear just how much champagne was going around. 

“Look, I tolerate homosexuals as much as the next guy, but I don’t want to hear about their problems! And I sure as hell don’t want to see them being intimate in public! Imagine, right there in front of children and God and everybody-”

One uncle had had too much too fast, and sadly enough, he wasn’t the only one. 

“And this talk about letting them marry! Isn’t it ridiculous? I know the president won’t do anything about it, of course, why would he? But the very idea! Scotty, dear, when you’re in the senate, you’ll have to sit through all of that disgusting drivel!” The distant cousin patted her uncomfortable son on the shoulder so everyone at the table could hear about his promising future denying rights to the less fortunate.

“Janet,” cut in one of the aunts who knew all of the hot gossip, or at least thought she did. “Did you hear? We have one of ‘them’ in our very midst- in the family! Can you believe it?”

“She’s just confused,” Allison’s father cut in, looking sweaty. He tugged at his tie, hastily put on after a romp in the hotel room with someone who was most definitely not Allison’s mother. “After that last boy died, you can hardly expect her to understand-” 

“No, I know exactly what I’m doing,” Allison cut in, unable to keep her mouth shut any longer. She stood up.“And I’m doing exactly what I want.” And then she stood on her chair, for good measure.

“Allison-”

“Not now, Renee. You bigoted assholes all think you’re better than me, what, because I’m sleeping with a woman hotter than any of you will ever have? Because I’m actually having a good time in my relationship? Sorry, Grandma and Grandpa, you should have gotten divorced about twenty two years ago, and Lindsey? Your husband is sleeping with the news anchor with the toupee and half of California knows it! Even your kids are awful! That six year old looked up my skirt yesterday!” She took a deep breath and fixed them all with her scariest stare. This was how she was going to be remembered for the rest of the Reynolds’ clan’s living memories, an absolute taboo that had never existed. Better make it count. “Money doesn’t make you better than other people! It just makes you rich! And that’s the only redeeming quality any of you fuckers have!”

There was a brief stunned silence. 

One of the smaller kids dropped a fork.

There was a much longer, horrified silence.

And then the waitstaff brought out the anniversary cake, lit with sparklers and grandly decorated to showcase their quarter century of love for one another. Grandma Anne began wailing as loud as she could possibly fake and the room dissolved into scandalized chatter. Nothing like this had happened in decades, at least, not that any of them spoke about. Other Reynolds had quietly slipped away in the night, eloped, gone into hiding in big cities, but Allison had never been shy and she wasn’t about to do this quietly. 

She turned to grin at Renee, a little flushed.

“You think that’ll do it?”

“Oh, I think you’ve done it, alright...”

Allison laughed and accepted Renee’s hand down just in time to turn and face her seething mother with a huge red stain on her $5,000 dress. It was so easy to imagine the crystal wine goblet shattering in her tight, clawed fist that Allison almost got caught giggling in the face of Hell’s greatest fury. 

“Allison.”

“Yes, mama?” She even batted her eyelashes. 

Allison’s mother grabbed her by the wrist and forced her to look her in the eyes. 

“I will NOT have you shame this family any longer. You and this- this- gold digging slut had better leave before you do any irreparable damage! This was your last opportunity, and if you don’t beg-”

Something forced between the two of them, knocking Allison back and out of her mother’s grip. Her heart was beating too fast, and it went even faster when she realized that Renee was staring down her mother with the coldest, most dangerous look she ever could have imagined from a girl who owned more than four kitten sweaters. 

“I don’t appreciate your tone,” Renee started, pleasant as a summer breeze. “And I don’t appreciate your physicality, either.”

Allison’s mother started to say something and thought better of it when Renee gave her that deadly smile, all of the marshmallow finally burned off.

“I am not interested in Allison’s money, and I am aware they she is fully capable of supporting herself. I appreciate her personality, her strength, her style. And even her shoes. More importantly than my own opinion, what Allison deserves is to find and create her own family, one that loves and supports and appreciates her, and to discover herself freely in a...less toxic environment.”

Allison and her mother both gaped at Renee, who just smiled. 

“If you don’t mind, we’ll be leaving now. We have a plane to catch, and I have a minimum wage job to work on Monday morning. I think it’s made me a more responsible, well-rounded person that appreciates the hard work that goes into making me comfortable. Don’t you?”

There was no possible way to respond to that. So Renee offered her hand to Allison, Allison took it, and they walked away from the gold-plated dumpster fire she had grown up in.

 

 

Allison finally gathered her wits in the airport, the whole strange weekend sinking in frame by frame. 

“Did you really mean all of that?”

Renee hummed, setting down her magazine. 

“Every word of it.”

“I mean, it wasn’t for...the whole...thing...”

“That is what prompted it, but I did enjoy most of this weekend with you. I especially liked getting to know you better.”

She smiled that same soft smile she always gave Allison with her morning coffee and it struck Allison that it had never, ever been faked. Every single mug of coffee had made Renee happy to see her, and legitimately so.

Something fluttered in her chest, right under the mermaid necklace Renee had fake-but not so fake-picked out just for her. Half of the universe seemed to rearrange itself below her feet, and she was free, finally free to do whatever the fuck she wanted, because she wanted it, and not just to spite someone else. 

“Would you like to go on a real date?” It left her weirdly breathless, and she felt like she’d squeezed ten pounds of anticipation and hope into one sentence. 

And to her credit, Renee just smiled like she’d been waiting forever to hear those words. 

“I’d love to.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment to let me know if you enjoyed it! I'm hardly ever on tumblr anymore, but find me on twitter at ceilingfan_5, or on discord if you want to strike up a conversation. All I want to do is give these ladies some of the love they sorely deserve!


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